The short answer? Yes…I think so…?
Let me take you back to what prompted this question…
I was on a walk with an awesome momma and the conversation turned to the ebb and flow of life and how to balance it all. Now, mind you, I don’t have it all figured out and I’m generally open to what other people think and how they interpret this crazy world. So, I was listening to her talk about how it is impossible to have it all. You can’t have a happy marriage and a thriving career; you can’t be a super mom and do #allthethings. She, herself, had been given this nugget of advice from another mom and it made her feel better about the current state of her union. And, to be honest, it did seem to take the pressure off for me a bit as well as I was digesting her words. But you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when something just doesn’t sit right with you? Well, I could feel that creeping in.
So, I mulled the idea over in my head and brought it to my ultimate guru, my husband. He is half of this marriage/parenthood thing we’ve chosen to do together, and I wanted his thoughts on this. Side note, I have been asked if my husband was nice and cute? “I mean, he can’t be both, right? Does that even exist?” My first thought when I was asked that question was, “So, then, which is your husband to you- nice or cute?” Because if you have to ask the question…
And after breaking it all down with him, I started to realize that I DO believe you can have it all.
Here’s the thing, I have spent the past decade diving into personal development. I did this partly because I had a deep desire to figure this shizzz out (the meaning of life, who I am, this crazy world-let’s call it a mini existential crisis lol) and partly because I was starting to build a business that required me to get out of my own way, believe in myself and grow the cojones it takes to be a momtrepreneur. And, yes, before I started digging deep, I probably did think it was impossible to have it all. But, after all of that reading, listening, and soul searching, I realize I was wrong.
And, I also realized that what my friend was saying was just a matter of perspective. She was saying that you can’t fully have both things at the same time. To flip that, I think that you can but that there may be more ebb on one aspect and more flow on the other. In other words, she chooses to look at it like not being in flow with both things means that you are not having it all. I am choosing to see that the fact that both are even present is a win. I am choosing to see the ebbs and flows of just being part of the “have everything process” and she is choosing to see the ebbs and flows as evidence that you cannot have it all. The good news? You get to pick!
But might I add, if you are always focusing on what is missing, what is lacking, and what is out of balance, then more of those things will present themselves. If you take your situation you are in now and focus on what is good, what is thriving, and what is in alignment for you, more of those situations will present themselves. So, while it may be true that all the things don’t present themselves in total alignment at the same time always, they do present themselves at some point, and that, if you ask me, is having it all.
Believing that you cannot have it all keeps you mediocre. It keeps the power out of your hands and keeps you thinking that you have none. I refuse to subscribe to that. I believe that part of the purpose we are all here floating on this magnificent rock through the universe is to find total alignment, to find peace within ourselves, to find joy in everything, and to have all of those things together. Believing that you can have it all can allow you to be okay with the ups and the downs. I know that it helps me! I mean, this rollercoaster of life is all about the ups and downs and when you’re up you are on that rollercoaster and when you are down you are on that darn rollercoaster-having it all while on this wild ride.
Having to work through this in my head helped me to see the bigger point in all of this-perspective. I invite you to see that you can be a great mom, have a thriving career, be a Rockstar wife, and do all the things. Be graceful with yourself when one outshines the other and have peace in the knowing that it will all balance itself out when it is supposed to.
In good health,
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